Title: Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why
We Don’t, And How to Make Any Change Stick
Author: Dean, Jeremy
Call Number: 153.85 D281M 2013
Subjects: Habit; Habit Breaking; Behavior Modification;
Change; Self Control
Number of Pages: 264
ISBN: 9780738215983
Book Description (from the back cover):
One of the
goals of habit change is to make ourselves happier. We might be trying to
improve our work habits so we can get more done in less time or our socializing
habits so we can spend more time with friends and family. Good habits can do
all sorts of things for us, but will they make us happy?...
Habits, if
they take complete control, can lock us into the same boring grooves. The
challenge is to work out which habits keep leading to dead ends and which
habits lead to interesting new experiences, happiness, and a sense of personal
satisfaction.
“Where will
you start?”
My Read:
“Where will
you start?” The author ends the book by asking and provoking a question. I do
appreciate reading such books that, after finished the book, would pique my
curiosity and invite me to think, ponder, and reflect. By and large, I would
ask the self the reason and purpose why I go on reading and searching more
books to read: to satisfy my curious mind and at the same time, to find ways to
better the self.
The first
question I like comes from page 13: “What did I plan to do today?” and “What do
I actually want to do now?” The author states: “As a consequence, a world of
possibility opens up. Being a soul of competitive in nature I usually would ask
myself as I walk in the workplace: what goals I would like to achieve and the
possibility of being able to accomplish. This goal setting mindset helps me to
concentrate on tasks, especially those less people pay attention to.
At page 44,
it reads: A habit of thought activated outside conscious awareness can
measurably change people’s behavior. This leads to the second question I recall
from page 155: …As a result, what you want to change, and why, will become more
obvious. Though it might not be related to the topic of habit it does have
similar theme. I am now mentoring two coworkers who hold potentials and own the
right work morale and attitudes. Repetitively I share with them the following
mindset I have acquired over the years: cultivate the habit and build up the
ability to savor and enjoy the tasks that most people dislike and hate. It’s an
ability leading to happiness; the kind of happiness comes from owning a sense
of achievement. And this directs us to the following…
“The “how”
of happiness is the problem because it can be difficult to say exactly what
provides happiness.” The how question is not as difficult as it seems. Sense of
achievement, to me, comes from who you are, who you want to be, and who you
know you are. Life is full of possibilities, opportunities, and challenges
helping a person to become who s/he is meant to be. For instance, customer
service is, to me, about self-growth. What attitude you acquire, and the values
you cherish would reflect on what you are willing to do to help your customers.
How would you feel if you were at the other side of the service counter? Ask
yourself as often as possible…You would find your heart becomes softer and some
part of your body and mind would melt as a smile is looking at you. For being
mindful is about living in the moment (page 153).
Overall I
especially enjoy reading chapter 12 titled “Creative Habits.” It’s a
coincidence that creativity is the topic I recently had a talk with my son; he
is a college senior majoring Art. At page 199 it states: Psychologists have
found that some of the most productive constraints, those that enable us to
throw off habitual patterns of thought, are those that imagine a different
world-that ask, “what if?” For example, what if we abolished money? Or, what if
we turned the Internet off? Or, what if… The chapter also introduces the idea
of making connection between creativity and the ability to generate opposites.
This reminds me of the idea from another book I read about innovation. In that
book one of the methods to get innovative is to look at the opposite when
everyone else is looking at the same direction.
“Put
crudely, if you add up all these little ups and downs, what emerges is your
level of happiness within the limits set by your genes and circumstances.”-page
218
“When these
people are fully engaged with their current activity they are happier.”-page
226
“Be looking
for something new in the familiar.”-page 227
To sum up,
the most helpful tip I got from reading this book is that if one wants to
change certain habit the most efficient way is to change environment. This
reminds me of an ancient story about a wise mother who relocated 3 times to
help her son grow into a legend sage: Meng Tzu.
“Where will
you start?”
No comments:
Post a Comment