July Read

Title: Hardwiring Happiness: The New Brain Science of Contentment, Calm, And Confidence

Author: Hanson, Rick, Ph.D.

Call Number: 158 H251H 2013

Subjects: Positive Psychology; Neuropsychology; Happiness; Brain; Self-Help/Personal Growth/Happiness; Religion/Buddhism

Number of Pages: 272

ISBN: 9780385347310

Book Description (from the inside flap)

            “See through the lies your brain tells you.” Why is it easier to ruminate over hurt feelings than it is to bask in the warmth of feeling loved? Your brain was wired in such a way when it evolved, primed o learn quickly from bad experiences, but not so much from the good ones. It’s an ancient survival mechanism that turned the brain into Velcro for the negative, but Teflon for positive.

            Life isn’t easy, and having a brain wired to take in the bad and ignore the good makes us worried, irritated, and stressed, instead of confident, secure, and happy. Each day is filled with opportunities to build inner strengths, but the brain is designed to ignore and waste them. This makes you come down harder on yourself than you do on other people, feel inadequate even when you get a hundred things done, and feel lonely even when support is all around you.

            Dr. Rick Hanson, an acclaimed neuropsychologist and internationally bestselling author, shows us what we can do to override the brain’s default programming. Hardwiring Happiness lays out a simple method that uses the hidden power of everyday experiences to build new neural structures that attract happiness, love, confidence, and peace. Dr. Hanson’s four steps build a brain strong enough to withstand its ancient negativity bias, allowing contentment and a powerful sense of well-being to become the new normal. In mere minutes each day, we can transform our brains into oases of clam. We can hardwire in happiness.

My Read:

            This is not the first book I have read that claims it’s human nature to have negativity inside us for survival. There was this book listing that we have three needs to be satisfied to have a fulfilling life. They are: to be recognized, to be needed, and to be appreciated. Not surprisingly, in Hardwiring Happiness, Dr. Hanson states we have three core needs to be filled. And they are: Safety (Avoiding), Satisfaction (Approaching) and Connection (Attaching).

            “In the light of an accepting, nonreactive awareness, your negative thoughts and feelings can sometimes melt away like morning mists on a sunny day.” Page 8 It’s human nature, according to the author to own a reactive mode of thinking and feeling; and it’s negative thought. The whole book the author shows us how to transform from a reactive mode to a responsive mode of thinking and feeling. He applies four steps to do the “Taking in the Good.” He said: “Technically, taking in the good is the deliberate internalization of positive experiences in implicit memory.” Page 60It’s called HEAL; it involves four simple steps:

1-      Have a positive experience

2-      Enrich it.

3-      Absorb it.

4-      Link positive and negative material.

Overall, the process is like this: Find a positive experience you have had. Imagine and feel the positive feeling and take in the good feeling. Have a deep sense of the good feeling, sink in the good and allow the good sink in you. Over practices and experiences the good will grab a root and replace the negative kinds. For the author said that our brain is shaped by our mind. If we have the mind zero in on the good and positive thinking then over the times with practices we are able to grow inner strengths and reshape our brain.

Under the subtitle “Filling the Hole in Your Heart” something the author said hit a home run. “Many people are embarrassed about still carrying the past. They ask, Why haven’t I gotten over this by now, what’s wrong with me? Page 153 What had happened at the younger age cast a long shadow. It’s a tough battle for someone to overcome the bad past experiences. “You can’t change the past, but you can use key experiences today to fill that hole.” Page 153

At the end the author shares with us twenty-one jewels for the treasure chest of the heart. Safety: Protection, Strength, Relaxation, Refuge, Seeing threats and resources clearly, Feeling all right right now, Peace; Satisfaction: Pleasure, Gratitude and gladness, Positive emotion, Accomplishment and agency, Enthusiasm, Feeling the fullness of this moment, Contentment; Connection: Feeling cared about, Feeling valued, Compassion and kindness, Self-compassion, Feeling like a good person, Compassionate assertiveness, Love.

Among the twenty-one jewels I found the “Compassionate Assertiveness” valuable to me. The author states: Compassionate assertiveness is where heart and strength come together, the twin pillars of healthy relationships. Page 215 And: Know that you have rights of your own, and that whether others are happy or not is primarily in their hands, not yours. Page 216 It sounds so true yet sometimes we forgot about the ownerships.

Though there are plenty of repetitions this book serves well its purpose: invite and allow the readers to think and reflect about their life. The mind shapes our brain.