Mother’s Words

            It’s hard for me to see people trudge at work, in life as if they are dragging invisible heavy baggages. Sometimes I wonder what kind of stuff is packed inside those baggages. It’s a person’s own choice to pick and pack for his/her journey, journey of a life. The weights of a bag would be overwhelmingly sinking and might sabotage a person’s health, mentality, and spirituality. At my middle age, age of golden years, I had had such heavy load and it cost me loss of partial memory of what had happened during those years as my children were growing up, memory of happiness and blessings. It’s bad business being a mother of two wonderful children. It takes years for me to understand it’s in the past and such comprehension helps me grow and appreciate what’s installed for me being a public librarian.

            I called mother tonight. As usual she quietly listened to me talking over the phone. Mother came from a big family with 5 brothers and 3 sisters. She didn’t go to school until the age of 11 and had to drop out of school two years later for her family was direfully in need of hands to recover their destroyed home, lost lands, and broken properties that were washed away by a history record damaging big flood. Days and nights the parents and children worked nonstop to regain what had belonged to them. During those precious two years of schooling, mother had to walk two hours one way to school and another two hours back home. Mother’s face and voice would be full of excitement and joy every time she talked about her short education days. Due to her own experiences she insisted me to go for higher education to have a better life, as high as possible.

            So you could imagine how excited she became as she heard about my employment at the public library. Ignored the fact that I was a page she congratulated me and encouraged me in her own words. She said: it’s good to work in the library for it fits my nature and personality quite well. From childhood she noticed that it’s hard for me to stay home or sit still, not until I attended high school. The higher I went for education the quieter I have become. I was called a loner while I was in high school, an all girls’ high school. The growing years I’ve learned what loneliness and being alone are. She further said that it’s a good place for me to get paid by walking and exercising. “It’s your gym, your playground” she said so with excitement and joy. From that day on, after that phone conversation, I did follow my mother’s advice that library is a good place for me to play as if I were still a little girl playing with playmates, exercising knowledge and skills I have earned and gained from interacting with people though I have to have my shoes on this time for I am an adult and employed; there are rules, regulations, and policies to follow and obey.

            The article that talked about 4 kinds of role a person plays at work reminds me of mother’s words. The 4 roles listed in the article are: prisoner, passenger, complainer, and player. The night after I read the piece of writing from one online business magazine I thought of my role at work. Feeling of stuck is out of the question so I am not a prisoner; I wake up in the morning and can’t wait to get out to work. Everyday as I walk in the building the first thing I do is to assess and survey the house then decide my goals of the day; I don’t let the tasks or the day drag me down. So I am not a passenger. I whine sometimes but I would gather my thoughts and ponder over options I might have and then I set my goals to earn sense of achievement. No, I am not a complainer. A player I must be for I like to play at the playground, a place called public library.

            Though, because of lack of education, mother doesn’t have too much knowledge about the world around her she does understand and know how to boost up my spirit and not only to encourage me but also to inspire me in her own words, by her unique motherly ways. Whenever I felt down or was overwhelmed by the negative forces from people, tasks, or events, I would take a walk at the parking lot and look around the surroundings. Mother would say it’s heaven for the air is fresh; there are trees everywhere, and beautiful people walking nearby. I would take in a huge gulp of air and stride with spine as straight as possible. If the mind was still busy racing I would count my steps: one, two, three… to distract my mind from overloading. Sometimes my legs and feet would hurt from work for I walked a lot in the library. Still the heaven was calling me, inviting me to get out and have fresh flowing air.

            Mother said she envies me and my colleagues for we could get paid by walking, lifting, and exercising. In addition, she said to me: you are articulate since childhood and your salesperson genes would be worked out to help people. The thing I didn’t tell her was that my language skills are not as good as she thinks and I got humiliating comments once in a while from serving patrons. She doesn’t have to know the negative sides of my profession for I am her pride. But mother is right: I like to play

            There are 24 hours a day; everyone has the same amount of hours. At work, we spend our most valuable and best hours with coworkers and patrons. What role do you play then, did you ever ask yourself? 8 hours under the same roof with people you call coworkers. Are you a negative force or a positive influence at work, to people you work with? I like the saying that one is too small a number to make greatness. At work, we definitely need supporters, mutual supporters. The dire situations are not in our control but we have each other. I still remember how it felt as Jennifer gave me a high five as we made a perfect score on the RTF. The sincere smile I got from Abby recently told me I have allies. People are made of fresh and blood; they have heart and soul to think and make decisions. Changes are steps of growth and ringing bell of successes.

            I thank mother for her giving me opportunities to gain education and learn how to read. Mother said it’s my playground so I play. Is it also your playground? Do you need playmates to share the joy of exercise, achievements, and partnership? Let’s play!