You Deserve a Good Life

            This afternoon was unforgettable; I had a great time sharing a table, savoring a delicious late lunch, and talking with a beautiful woman. Though we only had an hour or so to finish our meal, we let the hour fill with laughter, joy, friendship, and companionship. The lazy autumn sunlight shining on her hair and face sauntering from the side window couldn’t compare with the light on her smiling face. She was seated on the booth chair quietly listening to me as if a well-behaved student sitting in a lecture hall. I couldn’t help but tell myself (self-talking at the time in my racing mind) what a fine lady. She deserves a good life!

            I asked her to repeat what happened this morning for I wanted to know the whole deal about the “rat.” There was this dying rat lying on the grass as I walked toward the staff’s entrance to the library. The creature was still struggling for its legs were twitching and shivering. She and Jennifer took good care of it; she used a set of cleaning equipment shoveling it up and placing it by a tree, far away from the building. What I asked her to detail me was the event before I came to the building. She told me the whole story. How exciting it was to begin the day!

            At the lunch table we talked about library business, the staff, and patrons. Out of blue I started to talk about relationships. “One has to be open, receptive, and a giver to begin with at a relationship. Open so when something good comes to you there is room for it. Receptive so when it comes you will respond instead of resistant or refusing its coming or existence. A giver is someone who is willing to share and not afraid to give.” I hungrily took in the shoestring fries and shoveled the delicious chicken club into my waiting mouth as I was talking nonstop to my companion across the lunch table. 

            “You are a good woman and you deserve a good life.” Then I shared my own experiences interacting with my family. “When they were kids I would say ‘thank you’ whenever they did something for me. Now they always thank me when I treat them nicely. They would say “Mom, have a good day at work. Drive safely. I love you” in the morning as I rushed my way to work. No one has to teach them how to love me. They grew that way as if it’s the most natural thing to do and say in the world.

            I smiled before I talked. “Do you know how many years I cut his fingernails, hands’ as well as feet’s? I didn’t stop until both boys were born. I used to wash his hair while he was watching TV; I didn’t stop the massaging and shampooing until he was satisfied and told me to rinse his hair. I did so for I claimed it’s my hair.” I told my friend the importance of doing something for someone you love without any expectation or feedback. “One has to be a giver first so the other would respond to you, do so with sincerity and his will and heart. But you have to be the first to give.” Further I said “When the person does something good to/for you, you have to say ‘thank you’ right away.” The timing is the key; say it to the right person, at the right place, and at the right time. The effect is instant for he would remember what you say and how you say. It’s the sincerity and gratitude that move a person touching his soul. “But first,” I emphasized, “you have to be the giver first. And expect nothing.” Then I caught myself. Oops “Sorry I talked too much.”

          After minutes of quality quietness: we nibbled our food, I talked again. What a librarian usually does at work? We talk! “Not only did I see your changes I felt them in you.” Though I didn’t list those changes she seemed to understand what I talked about. “Be my ally. I need your support. We have a team.” It’s this book I am reading that helps me realize how asking right questions would bring out the best in a person. The 4 questions I shared with my friend are:

         Who are you and what do you want?

         Where are you and why are you there?

         What will you do and how will you do it?

         Who are your allies and how can they help?

         “You are one of my allies. With you and others we could do more than a person does.” What I didn’t say was that I wouldn’t feel alone at work. No matter how bad the situations would be, at least, we have each other. Together, the will, the drive, and the force would lessen the level of hardships and turn the challenges to opportunities and opportunities to achievements, greatness, and successes. I felt there was no need for me to explain. She is an intelligent and smart person; she would understand what I didn’t say.

            Woman! My friend, you are a good person and you deserve a good life.

            Happy birthday, Abby!!!