June Read/4

Title: Beyond Reason: Using Emotions As You Negotiate

Authors: Fisher, Roger; Shapiro, Daniel

Call Number: 302.3 F535B 2005

Subjects: Negotiation; Emotions

Number of Pages: 246

ISBN: 9780670034505

Book Description (from the inside flap):

            In Beyond Reason, you will discover five “core concerns” that motivate people: appreciation, affiliation, autonomy, status, and role. You will learn how to use these core concerns to generate helpful emotions in yourself and in others. Armed with this knowledge, you can gauge the needs of another negotiator, set the emotional tone of discussion, and reach a mutually acceptable agreement.

            Beyond Reason clarifies the complicated, “fuzzy” world of emotions and offers straightforward, practical advice. It builds on previous work of the Harvard Negotiation Project, the group that brought you the groundbreaking book Getting to YES. Here, world-renowned negotiator Roger Fisher teams up with psychologist Daniel Shapiro, an expert on the emotional dimension of negotiation. They show you how to employ emotions to turn a disagreement-big or small, professional or personal-into an opportunity for mutual gain.

            Fresh, insightful, and relevant to any interaction, Beyond Reason is certain to become a lasting classic for dealing with anyone form family and friends to colleagues, customers, and employees.

My Read:

            The chapter and the part I appreciate the most coming from the book is Chapter 10: On Using Account by Jamil Mahuad, Former President of Ecuador. The centuries-old conflict between the two countries, Peru and Ecuador, is finally amended by two wise leaders, Alberto Fujimori , President of Peru, and Jamil Mahuad, President of Ecuador. Just like any good nonfiction book I have read, this chapter serves as a case study recounting a true event taken place in human history. I so enjoyed perusing this chapter and appreciated the magic moment permeating through the image the newspaper headline picture had caught.

President of Ecuador-Left and
President of Peru-Right

 

 

            In the Conclusion Chapter the authors ask: If we disagree with someone, how can we interact in ways that stimulate positive emotions in both of us? Upon answering this critical question, the authors advise that first one has to take the initiative. Instead of passively waiting and reacting, one had better to prepare an emergency plan to be proactive and ready for any emotions to happen then one would address the concerns not the emotion. It’s like taking away the fuel to avoid the fire being further sparking or burning.

            Following the single important question, the authors reinforce the five core concerns that each occupies a full chapter to be discussed and be fully explained. The five core concerns are(from page 204)

1-      Express Appreciation: Feeling unappreciated puts people down. We can appreciate others by understanding their point of view; finding merits in what they think, feel, or do; and communicating our understanding through words or action. We can appreciate ourselves, too.

2-      Build Affiliation: Rather than having each negotiator feel alone and disconnected, we can try to build structural connections (the roles that place us in a common group) as colleagues and personal connection as confidants.

3-      Respect Autonomy: Recognize that everyone wants freedom to affect or make a great many decision. We can expand our autonomy and avoid impinging upon theirs.

4-      Acknowledge Status: No one likes to feel demeaned. Rather than compete with others over who has the higher social status, we can acknowledge everyone’s areas of particular status, including our own.

5-      Choose a Fulfilling role: An unfulfilling role leaves us feeling trivialized and unengaged Yet we are free to choose roles that help us and others work together. And we can expand the activities within any role to make them fulfilling.

Notes I took from reading this book:

-The assumption that the one with whom you are negotiating is an adversary dominates a great negotiations And that assumption typically prevents everyone form doing as well as they might. Page 53 Assumption truly could stampede people’s efforts and time to make ends met and it could cause plenty of misunderstanding that sabotage a great deal of relationships.

-Wise decisions involve both your head and your gut. Page 68 And when you are checking with your gut or your intuition to learn how something would feel to you, you may need to be careful not to substitute someone else’s presumed feeling for your own. Page 71 Here the authors restate the importance of not assuming things or situations or feelings.

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