Knock! Knock!
Back turned, I saw Jennifer’s red, long, and delicate fingernails knocking the glass panel. Instinctively, I knew someone was looking for me. And I was right. I saw her face right away through the glass partition. Swiftly I put down books, pushed the door, and walked to Lady J, one of my regulars who likes to hug me at our each encounter in the library. As we hugged to say our “hello” I came to understand that she brought her husband with her today for as I was hugging her I saw a gentleman stand not too far from where we stood.
“This is my hubby, Gentleman R” “Nice to meet you sir, FINALLY.” Smiled, I took them to a table with 3 chairs around. Lady J left us there while she went to find some books to take home. Gentleman R and I conversed as if we are friends for I have known about him from Lady J. Gentleman R told me he has had difficulty of sleep. I said “because your mind is racing all the time.” I could tell plenty of issues and concerns occupied this gentleman. Then Lady J came to join us and shared with me what’s happening in their life. Aging is a process full of agony, anxiety, uncertainty, pain, you name it. I almost could understand the cruelty, yet I kept my lips tight for I am not the one wearing the same shoes. I, myself, am also aging and have the touch and the slow after-taste from the same process. Who isn’t?
Walked them to the door, the husband and I waited in front of the library while the wife went to drive her car in the rain. “You have a good wife.” “I worry about her.” “She does the same.” Then all was quiet except the sound of the non-stopping autumn rain in this weekend afternoon. I waved my goodbye as I watched the car leave the premises.
How touched I was by this warm and surprise visit from a friend. It’s a rainy day and they seemed in a hurry. Yet they took all the troubles to just stop by to see me. The exhaust and fatigue of hers were so obvious that I touched her face twice this afternoon. “Take care of yourself.” I repeated my concerns as my fingers caressed her cheek and the wrinkles around her left eye. Worries age a person fast and very effectively as if tailored and generated by orders from the unknown.
Been married for more than 34 years is a long time. The mutual concerns and the joy of companionship radiate from both of them at different times. Yet the density and depth are equal. “Live in today, at present, and now” I told them. The best way to get rid of worry and concern is to focus on the present; the moment you know you are alive, active, and living. Nothing is realer than when you are conscious and know you are breathing.
Destiny and fate may have been planned. But you are in control of how to proceed today.
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