My Name Is Unique

            Did you ever ask your parents why they gave you this particular name for you as you were born, new to this world? My two boys requested to learn about how they came to have their own name at their childhood and over the years as they grow up together under and saving the same roof with each other with the same parents. Both of them own two names: one American and one Chinese. It’s obvious why for their parents came from Taiwan and they were born in US.

            The name we gave to our first boy came from the very first name on the name book we got from a bookstore for he was our first and the oldest son in the family. The care and education of the first child are very important for he plays a special role in the family. For Chinese each first born child carries the expectations his/her parents expect from him/her. And this oldest child would become the parents’ caretaker as they get old and need special care. If parents pass away, they would automatically become a father or a mother to hold the family intact and together.

            I expected my second one to be a girl so I didn’t undertake sonogram to learn about this child’s gender though I already had hindsight that I would have been wrong. Indeed, it turned out that there wouldn’t be any daughter for me in this life. Took the name “Allison” away from my mind we named our second child a rarely heard kind in our staying in the US, at least to us though later we learned it’s a popular name among the Americans.

            Both boys’ Chinese names were carefully calculated and selected by one of our best friends made in college. He picked the name for each boy matching to his unique personalities, destiny to face, and, coincidentally holding similar meanings to his given American name. Our first child has a powerful and simple form Chinese name; it’s easy to write and pronounce. On the other hand, the little one complained about the complexity and difficulty of his Chinese name. It’s also intriguing and interesting that if one pronounces his name in Taiwanese, the sound and the meaning of his name perfectly describe his unique characteristics and personalities. Both have a beautiful name.

            I used to hate my name for it’s so tawdry and typical to Taiwanese. And one could easily taunt me of my name in so many different ways. One could say my name to mean “I have unfinished business with you” in a funny manner. Or one could joke that there is no bowl sounding my name. The middle one, Mei, has been used and named girls that it’s very obvious to Taiwanese to know if this girl comes from Taiwan’s country regions. I was grouped in peasants at my first year in college in which the campus was located close to the capital. I felt so isolated from the city girls being a freshman.

            We used to joke about how we met by my garish name. It’s a name picking time for each boy in the class to choose his pen pal. As D came back from his daily rugby drill that day, there was no name for him. But wait. There was a piece of paper trashed on the ground; my name was on that tiny piece of paper. He had no choice but to accept that name and the person attached to the name to be his pen pal.

            Yes, my name may be tawdry, ordinary, or too common. Past experiences at youth made me dislike my name given by my grandfather. But my mother told me, more than once, that my grandfather was very fond of me. He was one of the 7 best known scholars in our living area. Everyday, my grandfather would carry me to his usual and favorite spot to read, study, and ponder: a stone under the big banyan tree. He was proud of me for I would sit quietly with him for hours. Though I didn’t hold any memory of this routine, the way my mother described got me wonder and couldn’t imagine how I could be silent or sit still for hours.

            If you ever wonder about your name, go ask your parents. If you feel lost in your life and/or don’t know about the meaning of your life, go ask your parents. Or if you have questions about self-worth and self-love , go ask your parents. Ask your parents how they picked the name for you and under what kind of circumstances. If they are not around, go check the meaning of your name. Your name bears with lots of information about who you are. Your name is yours, it’s unique to you.

            To others, my name may be too general or common to lay any imprint or impression. But it’s a name given with love, joy, and expectations by a person who was proud of me, who was well revered in his life. I didn’t use it often in the Chinese community but I used it at work, a place I consider my playground. My grandfather was good at composing poems, writing things that his peers couldn’t, and being a leader in his group and in the village. I have none of his talents. But I have a name he gave me. The name means beauty and grace. I have none of them. But it’s my given name.

            Mei-Wan is my name.